chocolate robot

no crying zone

“What? I can cook anything.”

“Cook heart soup.”

Hmmmm. “Okay. We’ll have it for dinner tomorrow.”

“It has to be red.”

Ingredients:

• Two cans condensed tomato soup
• One empty soup can full of milk
• Cheddar cheese for shredding and slicing
• Some fresh basil leaves from the potted basil on the patio
• Sandwich bread

Put the soup and the milk in the saucepan on low. Stir until pink. Shred the basil leaves and drop them in the soup.

“I don’t want any little green things in my soup!”

Are you cooking or am I? The basil will dissolve as the soup cooks. Pay attention.

Leave the soup simmering on low while you make cheese sandwiches. Toast them on a griddle, so that the bread turns stiff and the cheese inside turns good and gluey. Now all the assistants must leave the kitchen for the magic step.

Cut the cheese sandwiches into triangles — four triangles have a better aspect ratio than just two. On the skinniest side of the triangle, cut out and eat another little triangle wedge. Voilà! Hearts, which dip nicely in the soup.

“I think the basil didn’t dissolve in my soup. I still see the little bits floating.”

No, no. Dip your heart sandwich in the soup. See? That’s where the bits come from. Maybe you’d like a little extra cheese on top.

curl

There was a little girl
who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
she was very very good;
and when she was bad she was — DADDY! STOP IT I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN YOU SAY THAT!

There was a little girl
who had little curl
right in the middle of her pants.
And when she was good
she was very very good
and when she was bad she would dance.

THAT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE.

There was a little girl
who had a little curl
right in the middle of her belly.
And when she was clean
she was very very clean
but when she was not she was smelly.

I DON’T LIKE THAT ONE EITHER.

Okay, I’ll go do something else then.

STOP NO COME BACK MAKE UP MORE RHYMES

There was a little girl
who had a little curl
right in the middle of her leg.
And when she was born
she was very very born
instead of being hatched from an egg.

WAIT, WHAT

“Okay.”

…

“Mama. I happy, mama.”

“I not slowpoke! I just Will!”

When Hannah is concerned about monsters in her room at bedtime, Rob tells her he doesn’t allow monsters in the house and he gets out a box to gather them up wherever she says they are. Then she watches him take them out to the recycle bin. One morning she asked where the box from the night before was.
Rob:  ”I put it into the recycle bin so that we wouldn’t get any monster cooties.”
Hannah:  ”But they didn’t have any pooties. They didn’t even need to go to the bathroom.”

Speaking of bathroom humor, here is one from potty training land. Rob took Will to the public bathroom and took advantage of the opportunity for another lesson in standing to pee. Will said, “Wow! It falling down like rain!” And when Rob flushed Will said, “Bye-bye rain!”

“Sure! You should probably change out of your formal gown.”

“What? Why?”

“It’ll probably get muddled up, maybe torn. You’ll want shoes and socks, too.”

“No I won’t!”

Hmmm, do I want this battle? “Tell you what: go outside in that formal gown and bare feet, and see if you don’t decide you’d be more comfortable in play clothes.”

Screw you, Dad! This is great!